Trivia
by PowerZone
Summary: Here's a small collection of useless bits of trivia shared by two characters from the Ace Attorney series... trivias shared in the stupidest situations possible... Enjoy! NEW UPDATE: Lame Name Game
1. Prosecutor vs Policeman

**TRIVIA**

A Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney fanfiction by PowerZone

Here contains a little collection of useless bits of trivia, and babbled about by two or more "incompetent" people in the stupidest situations possible.

* * *

**1: Prosecutor vs. Policeman**

Miles Edgeworth just returned from the lavatory. It was back to the same desk, back to the same boring work. Nothing special or unusual would be happening today, he perceived. As long as nothing would disturb him, everything would be fine. He expected not to be taking some stress as the day would go on.

"Hello Edgey," started a shrill voice from the office door.

"_Dammit,_" Edgeworth cursed under his breath. All voice was almost all-too familiar. If something usually smelled funny, it could only mean, "_Larry Butz._"

Larry Butz, "clad and splendid" in his new police uniform after being hired by the Police Department a few days ago, walked inside with gait but almost the way a police officer would do. Edgeworth stood there frozen as the air around him started to thin. Oxygen continued to deprive from his brain the longer Larry "inspected" or hung around in his office.

"Mr. Butz," Edgeworth started slowly as he eyed warily the "unexpected stranger." As Larry might have pretended to interest himself with what his office contained, Edgeworth decided to keep himself formal, since Larry himself was part of the police. "Can a policeman tell me what he's doing inside my office?"

The door closed silently as Larry polished himself and sat on the maroon couch.

"I've come to settle an old score," Larry answered maniacally.

"For what?"

"For that trial," Larry snapped. "How dare you mock me of my logic in that trial. It was all too perfect." Larry was referring to the trial of Sister Iris of Hazakura Temple.

Edgeworth became seriously pissed. "That was not mockery, and first of all people can't fly!" He found himself moving from the spot and sitting back on his chair and looking at Larry over a pile of papers. "How can anyone seriously consider that proposition. It's baseless!"

"Baseless, you think?" Larry flared up. He rushed across the room and banged his palms on the desk in front of Edgeworth. He hissed, "Let's see you do good with your intelligence, Smudge-worth!"

Edgeworth's brain was burning up. "_This means war._" He slowly stood up from the chair and glared at Larry. "You're on." This day was going to be better than he thought.

"People can fly," Larry started.

"They can't," Edgeworth retorted, "no human can control gravity itself and be able to pull off into the sky."

"Oh yes they can," Larry snapped. "You read the 'Icarus and Daedalus' legend? The two of them were able to put together a set of wings collected from birds and flew off from the ground!"

"That's just a legend," Edgeworth scoffed. "And hardly ever legends are ascertained to be true."

"I can prove that's true."

"Prove it," Edgeworth taunted.

"I went to Greece last year and found the remains of the wings," Larry answered smartly.

"Pathetic. Greece is famous for its mythology. And there's a 'myth' in it." He stressed the word 'myth.'

"Myth does not rhyme with moth."

This was getting more stupider. "And moth has nothing to do with Greece."

"I bet you didn't know that the capital of Greece is Athens." Larry said with a I-bet-you-don't-know look.

"Oh yeah? The capital of Liechtenstein is Vaduz. Now you don't know that." He folded his arms and waited more from the guy.

"Hah! I know all the capitals of all the countries of the world!"

Feigning impression, Edgeworth continued, "Is that so? Then what is the capital of the Philippines?"

"That's simple! It's Tokyo!" Stupidity just comes around every corner.

"Objection!" Edgeworth blurted. "It's Manila, you simpleton!"

"I can tear five manila papers into four in thirty seconds." Larry returned daringly.

Edgeworth taunted. "You're not even strong enough to tear a bond paper."

"And you're dumb enough to know the capital of China."

"It's Beijing, you fool. And Beijing was the host of the 2008 Olympics."

"If it's the Olympics, then you probably don't know that back in Ancient Greece, olive wreaths were used instead of gold medals." Larry thought he got him.

"Pure gold as big as a matchbox can, when spread out, be as wide as a soccer field."

"Professional soccer has eleven players!" There was a little hint of desperation.

"The fear of number thirteen is triskaidekaphobia."

"The fear of going to sleep is clinophobia."

"The fear of failure is kakkoraphiaphobia. I bet you can't even memorize that." For a long word, Edgeworth felt sure that Larry would not memorize it.

"The fear of lightning is astrapophobia." Larry countered.

"Lightning proves that speed of light is faster than speed of sound. Everyone sees the lightning before the booming of the thunder."

"The light of a hundred fireflies can glow on a frog's stomach!"

"Frogs are amphibians." Which is obviously a universally-established fact.

"Bats are the only mammals that can fly!"

Making it a little simple, Edgeworth said, "Mammals are warm-blooded. Their body temperature changes with the external conditions of the environment."

"The blood vessel of a human is, when set out in a line, almost 90,000 kilometers long, almost two times around the Earth!"

"The Earth will stop existing when the sun becomes a red giant."

"The coolest spots on the sun are sunspots!"

Edgeworth wanted to make it a little more difficult. "The sun will die when it becomes a white dwarf, the last stage of a star."

"Speaking of dwarf, there are only three standard English words in base form that start with the letters 'd' and 'w': dwell, dwindle, and dwarf." Larry felt somewhat confident.

To battle stupidity, one has to use stupidity. "Snow White has seven dwarfs. I bet you couldn't name them all."

"I don't have to. You might not know that the apple Snow White ate was a Fuji apple." Was this even true?

"Mt. Fuji is the tallest mountain in Japan." Edgeworth said.

"And Fiji is located in the Pacific Ocean!" Completely unrelated.

"The Marianas Trench is the deepest underwater trench in the world. The Empire State Building will only be one centimeter of the length-to-scale of the whole trench."

Larry decided to mock Edgeworth's intelligence with an amazing bit of the Empire State Building. "The Empire State Building was completed in 1931. It was designed by Gregory Johnson."

Edgeworth paused. The name of his father rattled his thinking. Suddenly, he found himself flaring up – not because he was out of ideas, but the haunting memory resurfaced once more. In a rage, he picked up his King of Prosecutors trophy from one of the shelves and flung it at Larry.

"Get out of my sight!" he roared. The trophy smacked into the policeman's head and the policeman fell unconscious.

When Edgeworth looked down at the unconscious policeman, something he saw made him flare hotter than the surface of the sun.

Larry Butz's middle finger of his right hand was raised.

* * *

**Kinda corny... but it's just the start of many. Next up will be Pearl vs. Trucy!!! Yey, child's game!**

**PowerZone**


	2. Child's Play

**TRIVIA**

A Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney fanfiction by PowerZone

Here contains a little collection of useless bits of trivia, and babbled about by two or more "incompetent" people in the stupidest situations possible.

* * *

**2: Child's Game**

Phoenix Wright was fast asleep in the bedroom. Sundown just finished its task and the city was springing into life. The streets were crawling with people and vehicles like ants on the ground. The glimmering of lights from tall buildings in the metropolis brought some ease and appreciation to the two girls on the window of the Wright Talent Agency.

Trucy was busy fiddling with her deck of cards. Pearl Fey did not seem interested as she was much focused on the glimmering lights of the buildings, which she called as funny.

"Hey, hey," Trucy nudged Pearl, "look at this trick I learned a while ago."

Pearl obviously seemed tired, but she did not want to upset her friend. "Okay."

Trucy spread the cards and held them on the palm of her hand. "Pick a card," she said.

Pearl picked a random card and looked at it.

"Done?" Trucy asked.

Pearl nodded.

"Okay, put the card on top of the deck," Trucy said. Pearl did so. As the card was placed on the deck, with the card face-down so that Trucy wouldn't see the face of the card Pearl picked, Trucy then started to 'cut' the deck in swift dexterous motions. When she was done, she picked up the case of the deck and placed the entire deck inside it.

"Let me ask you," Trucy said to Pearl. "Was the color of your card a red or black?"

Pearl recalled, "It was a, um, black."

Trucy paused for a while. "Was it a letter or a number?"

"A letter."

Trucy nodded. "Okay, was it a male or a female?"

"I'm pretty sure it's a female," Pearl answered.

Judging from what she said, it should be a queen of spades or a queen of clubs. "Was it a spade or a club?"

Pearl seemed dumbfounded. "Huh? How can you tell a spade from a club?"

Trucy frowned. She spotted a piece of paper and pen near Pearl and began drawing the two symbols of the spade and club. Pearl looked at the drawing and pointed her finger at the spade.

"So, it must be a queen of spades," Trucy said. "Okay, I only know now that your card contained the queen of spades, judging from what you've told me. Your chosen card is in one of the cards inside this case." Trucy then opened the case and pulled out the deck of cards. They were all placed face-down on the table in front of Trucy. Trucy then spread the cards on the table.

"Pick the card that is different from the others," Trucy instructed Pearl. Pearl spotted it and picked it up.

"It's... it's... the q-q-queen of spades!" Pearl said shakily as she looked hard into the card and examined every perimeter of the card. No tricks, no glitches, just plain magic. "H-How did you do that?"

"I guess practice makes perfect," Trucy replied proudly.

Trucy rearranged the deck and placed it back on the casing.

"I admit that magic is impressive," Pearl said, "but when it comes to the real deal... it must be spirits!"

"Spirits don't exist!" Trucy pouted.

"Yes, they do!" Pearl retorted. "All kinds of spirits exist – big ones, small ones..."

"I don't believe in spirits," Trucy said, "magic is the real deal – and you don't need spirits to perform magic."

Pearl looked away. "I guess you're dumb enough to believe what is real and what is not."

Trucy flared up. "You probably don't know that an entire deck of cards is a representation of a year!"

"Is that so?" Pearl said haughtily. "I may not have known that... but you probably don't know that the two syllables in 'ouija' both mean yes. 'Oui' is French, while 'ja' is German!"

Trucy fired an icy glare. "I learned in school that Napoleon Bonaparte is a French-sounding name of his real name, which was named after his uncle."

"Napoleon Bonaparte met his last arm of revolution at the Battle of Waterloo and surrendered on... July 15, 1815!" Pearl taunted her much to her amaze with Napoleon Bonaparte. "He was exiled to St. Helena in the Atlantic Ocean."

"Helen in Greek Mythology is the wife of Menelaus, the king of Sparta."

"Menelaus became king of Sparta because the other male heirs, Castor and Pollux, died!" Pearl said. "And it was Helen's abduction by Paris that started the ten-year long Trojan War!"

Trucy tossed her silk hat aside. "Paris is the capital of France!"

"And Ouagadougou is the capital of Burikina Faso!" Talk about, whoa!

"What the heck are you saying?"

Pearl stuck her tongue out.

Trucy was getting pissed. "That does it! I'll tell you what's real: David Copperfield, born David Seth Kotkin, was the youngest person ever admitted to the Society of American Magicians. He was only 12 years old!"

"This is the real deal," Pearl returned the dare. "Franz Anton Mesmer derived the word 'mesmerism' which was later used as 'hypnotism'. And hypnosis also mirrors the Egyptian god, Hypnos, the Egyptian god of sleep!"

"You think you're so smart," Trucy taunted. "Sleepwalking is also called somnambulism or noctambulism!"

"Big deal," Pearl scoffed. "I've seen Mr. Nick do somniloquy." Somniloquy is popularly called sleep-talking.

"Lady Macbeth in William Shakespeare's drama, Macbeth, delivered a somniloquy, as she makes mentions of the horrific images from her past!"

Just as Pearl was about to continue, the bedroom door burst open and Phoenix came out. He was awfully messy in his white shirt and short pants. As he stepped out of the bedroom, he slowly approached where Trucy and Pearl were arguing. Phoenix grabbed the deck of cards in the casing from the table.

When Trucy looked into her father's eyes, she noticed that they were unfocused. "He's sleepwalking," she mouthed at Trucy.

And with all his strength, Phoenix ripped apart the whole deck into two – all without realizing that he did so. And both girls' mouths were hung open as they saw the remains of the cards neatly torn up. Phoenix just went back to the bedroom and slammed the door. No person was ever pissed off for that one night alone.

"I'm so gonna let Harry Houdini haunt you in your sleep!" Trucy hissed.

"You want me to channel him?" Pearl asked.

* * *

**Kinda short and corny, I admit... Anyway, next up is Ema vs. Gumshoe – the detective's showdown!**

**PowerZone**


	3. Detective's Showdown

**TRIVIA**

A Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney fanfiction by PowerZone

Here contains a little collection of useless bits of trivia, and babbled about by two or more "incompetent" people in the stupidest situations possible.

* * *

**3: Detective's Showdown**

During a particular case, there was nary an incident when chaos ensued in Criminal Affairs Department. Obviously, some things could not just slip by – and it was up to the detectives to get to the bottom of every nook and cranny. For starters, they did not want to disappoint their bosses, prosecutors fighting tooth and nail to get the defendant guilty in every aspect.

Today's incident, however, was different.

Because at the climax of a case, two detectives were mustering their physical strength to bring down the evidence from the Records Room to the High Prosecutors' Offices. It was a long day – but the end of it was still too far for them.

Detective Ema Skye was ordered by her boss, the ex-guitarist of the Gavinners and _the-greatest-fop-of-her-life_, Klavier Gavin, to search through some files concerning a related incident a year ago. In the past few days since the case started, the detective had a lack of sleep. Thus, she carried a mug full of hot coffee made by the heavenly cherubs.

Detective Dick Gumshoe was similarly ordered by his boss, the legendary prosecutor Miles Edgeworth, to rummage through a certain case three years ago related to the same case at hand.

It was there when the two detectives met.

Immersed in the contents from the retrieved evidences, the two detectives started to search for relevance. Neither of them knew that another detective had entered the Records Room, had picked up a case file ordered by their boss/prosecutor, and was approaching the same direction.

And just like that, fate brought them into a stupid situation.

WHAM!

Having not paid attention to their direction, the two detectives slammed into each other and sent their evidence flying. To add insult to injury, Detective Skye's mug of coffee also went berserk when its owner crashed onto the directionless hooligan. Half of the coffee spilled onto her white lab coat.

"Aaaaaaaahhh!" came the simultaneous screams of efforts gone up in the air – literally.

"Watch where you're going, next time, pal!" Detective Gumshoe yelled at the other detective.

"Hmph!" Detective Skye glared at the other. "You've got some nerve there with a bad sense of direction!" She placed her mug of coffee on an empty space of the rack beside them.

That brought a vein on Detective Gumshoe's forehead. "A bad sense of direction?" he bellowed. "That does it!" He stamped hard on the ground, not caring that he just stepped over some of the papers from the retrieved evidences. Speaking of which, the papers now got mixed up in the mess.

"You fool!" roared Detective Skye. "You're tampering the evidence! Not only you have a bad sense of direction – you are also very careless!"

"You want a fight, pal? I'll give you one!"

Detective Skye looked away. "Who are you to call me pal, pal?" She said the last word in mock annotation of Gumshoe. "I'm not physically strong, but I'm mentally sharp. A battle of wits – you and I… right here, right now!"

This made Detective Gumshoe fumble for a moment.

"What's the matter? Chicken?"

"N-Not so, pal! I… err… uhh… I'm just getting my wits ready," he said.

"Bring it on!" Detective Skye taunted.

And somewhere, for what humorous reason the author made up, a bell rang ala boxing and an announcement ala Tekken came out, "Round one, fight!"

"I bet you're not smart enough to discover the amazing power of science," taunted Detective Skye one more time. "Hey, you know Albert Einstein right? He formulated the theory of relativity!"

"Of course, pal!" Detective Gumshoe answered and he countered it with his own collection of knowledge. "That idea spurred out to create the greatest weapon of mass destruction – the atomic bomb!"

"Two of them were dropped over Japan during World War II," Ema said. "Hiroshima and Nagasaki suffered incredible damages!"

"That's basic, pal," Gumshoe scoffed. "Germany did more death than that – thanks to their fascism rule – with Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini as the key figures of fascism! Top that, pal!" He felt good with this attack.

"You're too low on the coffee," Ema said bluntly. "Germany was reunified on October 3, 1990 – following the dismantling of the Iron Curtain!"

Detective Gumshoe folded his arms. "Big deal," he countered. "A person is said to have an iron fist if he or she has strict authority over those under that person."

"Iron is a chemical element with atomic number 26 and came from the Latin word _ferrum_."

"Well, pal, the scientific name of a ferret is _Mustela putorius_!"

Ema started to flush red in annoyance. "Ferrets are known to be crepuscular, and their collective term is 'business' – a business of ferrets."

Gumshoe would do everything to win in this battle of wits. "I bet you didn't know this. Business theory states that when you subtract revenue and your expenses, you get earnings before taxes, depreciation, and amortization. Beat that, pal!" He grinned at his amazement of knowledge.

"Talking business are we?" Ema piped up. "It is a universal accounting equation that assets equal liabilities and equity."

Now the Gumshoe felt outsmarted. "That does it, pal!" he flared up. "This is serious business!" Once again, not minding of the scattered papers on the floor, he stamped on them to build up some energy. When he stopped with the stamping, he launched the offensive. "Wall Street happens to be the financial center of New York City!"

"New York City is known to be 'The Big Apple'!"

"An apple's internal form is comparable to that of the earth!"

"The distance between the Sun and the Earth is known as an astronomical unit!"

Gumshoe felt as if he was being mocked. "It was Galileo Galilei who discovered sunspots in 1609! Because of his extensive research about the sun using simple telescopes, he blinded himself as a result!"

"Reflecting telescopes are much more common than refracting telescopes!"

Gumshoe stamped hard on the floor. "Mirrors and water exhibit the basic media of reflection!"

Ema countered on as she reached for something inside her handbag. "Water has a potential of hydrogen at 7!"

"There are seven days in a week!"

Ema: "And four weeks in a month!"

Gumshoe: "And twelve months in a year!"

Ema: "And ten years in a decade!"

Gumshoe: "And ten decades to make a century!"

Ema: "And ten centuries for a millennium!"

Gumshoe: "And ten millennium for a…" he paused… "wait, there isn't a specific term for that, is there?"

Ema sighed. "You obviously are a scatterbrained detective. Ten thousand years is enough!"

Gumshoe roared. "That does it, pal! I'm gonna eat this tie if it's the last thing there is!"

And just when things were about to heat up to its climax, two people went into the records room. And what these two people saw would be one heck of a scene they would never forget. And what these two squabbling detectives saw on the doorway of the Records Room would produce the most epic reaction too awesome to describe.

"You're thinking what I'm thinking, Prosecutor Gavin?" Miles Edgeworth said without taking his eyes off the mess of the detectives.

"Ja," Klavier Gavin answered. "I think this jam needs some rockin'… with an awesome salary cut for the Fraulein, scientifically speaking."

"S-Salary cut?" Gumshoe outburst and he frowned.

Detective Skye's bad mood had just went off the scale. "I can scientifically shut you up for the rest of your glimmerous life, you fop." With that, she snatched the mug of coffee and poured the rest onto Prosecutor Gavin's head. She threw it aside causing the mug to break, went past between the two prosecutors, and stormed out – leaving Detective Gumshoe to clean up the mess both of them had made.

Because of their squabble and the tampered evidence, both prosecutors lost the case due to lack of decisive evidence, which turned out to be the files the detectives were supposed to be retrieving.

Thankfully, Prosecutor Gavin had his payback while pouring down a water jug over Detective Skye's head when he caught her snoozing during the case evaluation.

From then on, no prosecutor except for Klavier Gavin would ever want to work with the hotheaded Detective Ema Skye.

* * *

**Sorry about the VERY long update between chapters, but here it is! The next chapter will center around talkative idiots!**

**PowerZone**


	4. Lame Name Game

**TRIVIA**

A Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney fanfiction by PowerZone

Here contains a little collection of useless bits of trivia, and babbled about by two or more "incompetent" people in the stupidest situations possible.

* * *

WARNING to the READER: You will be subjected to the most insane and most random kind of hilarity ever to hit the Ace Attorney universe. You still dare to read on? Then, I dare you! I double dare you! *evil laughter*

**4: Lame Name Game, also known as the "Don't Ever Try To Read This Lame Chapter Because You'll Understand Why This Chapter Title Is So Effing Long That The Author Does Not Even Apologize For Putting Two Talkative Idiots From The Ace Attorney Universe But Knows That Readers Will Continue To Read Anyway So Read They Must" chapter**

She was at it again.

There was never a single moment she did not want to seclude herself to concoct a mentally perfect – or imperfect for the matter – plan on how to win his heart. To make the whole thing outrageous, she even purchased a small pocketbook on a guide for girls to win men's hearts. The moment she set her hands on the book, all hell would break loose.

First, she tried to send Edgeworth a bouquet of roses… only to find out that the roses had been "infested" with cherry blossom pollen as she made her way to the High Prosecutor's Office. While there weren't any more cherry blossom trees, the flower shop she bought the bouquet from had a small garden with a miniature cherry blossom tree. And Edgeworth was allergic to those pollens. Thanks to her (or no thanks to her), Edgeworth called in sick for three days.

Second, she sent a dinner invitation to Edgeworth. She didn't do this personally, as the pocketbook advised to keep the suspense up – hoping that the guy – Edgeworth – would understand the message. Unfortunately, this led to some "panic" in the department. A news press also got hold of this invitation and believed that some person named "Mindy" was stalking and asking Edgeworth on a date. The mess cleared up as quickly as it came after a handwriting analysis proved that an old hag named Wendy made the invitation. She screwed up the signature to make it look like a name of "Mindy." Obviously, Edgeworth declined.

Furious with her failed attempts, Wendy Oldbag cursed. Not to herself but to the whole world. Now, People Park was covered in undecipherable punctuation marks littered everywhere.

"Stop this nonsense!" yelled a young man from behind her.

Oldbag wheeled around, still lost in her rage, to find out an annoying brat – not another whippersnapper – blocking the path back. Apparently, he looked a little too odd not to be someone just lurking around in the park at night.

"And who the hell might you be?" Oldbag hissed.

The young man, a college student, stepped forward. "My name is Wesley Stickler." He introduced himself cordially and formally and did not want to invite any unnecessary face-offs. "Madam, I suggest that you control yourself while you're in a public area." His tone, however, was flat-out boring.

Oldbag stomped her feet on the ground, not even caring about the damage she could do to her heels. "I don't need any whippersnapper to tell me what to do!"

Stickler was taken aback. "Where did you learn to get such over-worldly language?"

Oldbag's eyebrows furrowed. "Like I said, I don't need a whippersnapper telling me what to do. You're probably a hare-brained no-good whippersnapper like that…"

Stickler could not handle this kind of verbal abuse. "Madam, do not insult my intelligence – not especially of a student from the Science Department of the magnificent Ivy U!"

But the retired cop lady rolled her eyes, apparently unimpressed by the verbal intruder. "Science, schmience, I don't care who you are. You're just another one of the whippersnappers who couldn't even hurt a fly."

"But flies cannot be hurt easily, madam," said Stickler.

"Trying to get smart with me, eh?" Oldbag folded her arms. This time, it was war. "You say you're from the science department, but don't you even know where the word 'science' comes from?"

"Hah! That is a question worthy for a first grader. Science comes from the Latin word 'scire', which means 'to know.' And so since I know that science means knowing and that I am from the Science Department, I must know everything with this polished high-class intelligence that cannot be unrivaled." Somebody must need earplugs.

"IQ means 'intelligence quotient'."

"And quotient is the mathematical application for division."

"Cellular division is known as mitosis!" Oldbag reeled.

"Meiosis is another form of cellular division. Simpletons can understand that!"

"The number of chromosomes can distinguish mitosis from meiosis!"

Stickler was not about to fall for that. "Humans have twenty-three pairs of chromosomes!"

"The human body has a Latin name called 'homo sapiens' which means 'intelligent person.'" Rocket-speed dialogue ahead. "But-seeing-as-you-are-not-half-as-intelligent-as-you-claim-to-be,-I-might-have-to-call-you-'homo-useless.'-That's-so-fitting-for-a-whippersnapper-like-you.-And-I-believe-you-won't-even-have-enough-shmarmy-anything-to-counter.-And-so-with-your-flawed-logic,-you-don't-deserve-to-belong-in-that-whatever-it-is-called-department-from-your…"

Stickler cut her off with an open palm inches away from her face. "Flawed logic? Your logic would be flawed if you didn't know that logic became a fundamental idea in philosophy, thanks to Aristotle."

"Hah!" Oldbag scoffed. "Plato and Aristotle are the center figures of Raphael's fresco painting, 'The School of Athens.'"

Stickler stifled a fake yawn to show his discontent. "Raphael is just one of the four of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The other three are Michaelangelo, Donatello, and Leonardo."

Stickler was annoyed at the sudden change of topic. But nevertheless, if it meant to outsmart the talkative old lady who outright disrespected him, he would fight this trivial battle to its useless end. "Hmph. A world-acclaimed Pinta Island tortoise aptly named Lonesome George, one of the rarest of his kind, was made to be known as such because of multiple unsuccessful attempts in breeding. Unfortunately, this symbol of environmental protection and conservation died last June 24 of 2012, possibly lived to be beyond over a hundred years, which is not quite as old for a Galapagos tortoise."

"The name 'Galapagos' means 'tortoises,' after being discovered by a Spaniard bishop named Fray Tomas de Berlanga."

"In chess, the bishop moves diagonally."

"The rook moves in a horizontal or vertical direction."

"The queen has a dual capacity from the rook and the bishop such as the chess piece can move, horizontally, vertically, and diagonally."

Oldbag was getting annoyed by the extensive knowledge of this whippersnapper. "The computer program Deep Blue was specially designed such that it overthrew a chess grandmaster named Gary Kasparov in 1997."

"Some of the different moves used during those games were the Sicilian Defense, the Alapin Variation, the King Indian's Attack, and the Semi-Slav Defense."

"Sicily is an island off Italy."

"Crete is an island off Greece mainland."

"Greece suffered a major financial meltdown as it had to be repeatedly bailed out by the International Monetary Fund or the IMF."

"The FBI stands for the Federal Bureau of Investigation."

Oldbag wasn't impressed. "You playing with your letters, whippersnapper?" Rocket-speed dialogue up ahead… again! "I'll-even-bust-you-with-some-of-the-most-unusual-acronyms-there-are.-Such-as-the-W-W-E-known-as-the-"World-Wrestling-Entertainment"-or-the-A-S-C-I-I-which-means-the-"American-Standard-Code-for-Information-Exchange."-Speaking-of-exchange,-there-is-the-N-Y-S-E-which-means-the-"New-York-Stock-Exchange,"-and-there's-also-N-A-S-C-A-R,-the-"National-Association-for-Stock-Car-Auto-Racing,"-and-there's…"

"The longest name of a place in the world with no spaces between them is…" Stickler made a dramatic pause and then proceeded to mention the name of the place " Taumata whakatangihanga koauau o tamatea turi pukakapiki maunga horo nuku pokai whenua kitanatahu in New Zealand. Take that!" (The author wants the reader to combine the whole name into a single world because somehow FanFiction separates the name into different words, damn.)

Oldbag almost had to face-palm herself. "I'm pretty sure you didn't pronounce that name right, whippersnapper." She smirked. "The longest movie title ever was James Riffel's" another rocket-speed dialogue up ahead… "'_Night of the Day of the Dawn of the Son of the Bride of the Return of the Revenge of the Terror of the Attack of the Evil, Mutant, Alien, Flesh Eating, Hellbound, Zombified Living Dead Part 2: In Shocking 2-D' _produced in 1991."

By then, the two insanely verbal face-off dim-witted citizens were already gasping for breaths after their nonstop barrages of useless bits of information.

As the two were verbally fighting – or unintelligently arguing – a middle-aged man approached the bickering age-gapped couple and attempted to break the fight. "Journalist Spots An Old Lady and Young Man Bickering Over Some Petty Trivias, end quote."

Stickler and Oldbag (it would be inappropriate to use their first names to avoid mental capacity disorder – Wesley and Wendy) glared with their clashing eyes of frost and blaze toward the unwelcome intruder, who then backed away and squeaked, "Journalist Decides Not To Butt In On Other People's Business While Blabbering About Useless Bits of Information That Doesn't Seem To Be Any Helpful Information At All So Journalist Backs Away Otherwise Will Be Eaten Alive By The Nonsense Chatter That Could Go On Forever Until The Ends Of The Earth, end quote." Now wouldn't that be a good change to have the longest fictional tabloid title?

* * *

**Okaaaaaaaayyy… with the help of Wikipedia and the annoying long names, I've finally made this update! The next chapter will be… more intellectual.**

**PowerZone**


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